HOLY BLEEP! This Jag sedan is a blast

This review originally appeared in the June edition of the Northern & Central California Cruisin’ News published out of Folsom, California – mg

Sacramento, California -- The 2011 Jaguar XJL Supercharged sedan is what I call a HOLY BLEEP! vehicle.

That’s because when people see it, they exclaim HOLY BLEEP!

And bleep well they should. This sedan within the beefed up, six-trim-level 2011 XJ lineup really is more than a car. Calling it a car sells it short, like calling Lady Gaga just another dressy girl.

This Jag is artwork on a grand scale, with a big scoop of mind-blowing performance characteristics that seem derived from advanced alien technology.

On first glance, it looks long enough and wide enough to be a limo. The elegant appearance is gloriously enhanced by a simple prancing cat in chrome on the back of the trunklid. I love that. Simply said: This is a big Jag. Say no more.

It’s on the roll that you start to edge into HOLY BLEEP! territory.

With the 5-liter, supercharged, 470-horsepower V-8 engine handling the propulsion chores, you are transported to another planet, somewhere in the Blew By You galaxy. Just the smallest pressure on the accelerator brings instant zip, and yet it is so smooth that you don’t quite get the full effect until you see surrounding cars get oh-so-small in your mirrors.

Yet the XJL cabin is so quiet that you get virtually no sound on blast-offs, and that actually is a shame, because you really expect an audio rip when the car is hitting 80 mph at one-fourth throttle. This kind of oomph and silky handling change your whole attitude.

It was so easy to sail into tight spots I normally wouldn’t think of filling in mere mortal machinery. In my head, I’m screaming at a trailing car: “Like you had even a PRAYER of slamming the door on me!”

This kind of mood-altering machismo is likely to produce speeding tickets in bunches, so it’s probably good that I had the XJL for only a week. But what a rush it was.

The interior is a Four Seasons Hotel experience, dripping with fine woods and exquisitely sculpted controls. Too bad the gear-shifting mechanism is a dial – yes, I’m serious – because even with the six-speed automatic, you feel the urge to ram a floor shifter into the pegs.

What’s not to like? Well, there’s 15/21 mpg with premium juice and a starting price of $90,700. Other than that, it is everyone’s dream.